User:Grahamal/Animal model of autism/Lkshephe Peer Review

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

General info[edit]

Whose work are you reviewing?

Grahamal

Link to draft you're reviewing
User:Grahamal/Animal model of autism
Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
Animal model of autism

Evaluate the drafted changes[edit]

I think it was a great decision to expand on using the rodent model for identifying the way autism develops in humans. Your development on the limitations of this connection is great to expand on how the model is not a perfect mirror of autism in humans. One thing I would suggest is smoothing out the transition of "heterogeneous features of neurodevelopmental disorders (NDDs) in humans. Other researchers have developed an autism severity." The end of the first sentence and the beginning of the second seems to have a tone shift and I think it might be good to look into the topics mentioned in the second sentence to provide a little bit more context so it doesn't seem as uneven. Another suggestion would be to change the phrasing of this sentence, "These inflammatory pathways involve the release of cytokines, or immune signaling proteins, changes in the expression of cytokines during early stages of life..." to, "These inflammatory pathways involve the release of cytokines, or immune signaling proteins. Changes in the expression of cytokines during early stages of life..." I think you have done a great job expanding on this topic while also staying in line with the topic of the article.