User:Grahamal/Animal model of autism/Peytonmk Peer Review

Peer review

Complete your peer review exercise below, providing as much constructive criticism as possible. The more detailed suggestions you provide, the more useful it will be to your classmate. Make sure you consider each of the following aspects:

Lead

Guiding questions:

Has the Lead been updated to reflect the new content added by your peer?
Does the Lead include an introductory sentence that concisely and clearly describes the article's topic?
Does the Lead include a brief description of the article's major sections?
Does the Lead include information that is not present in the article?
Is the Lead concise or is it overly detailed?

Content

Guiding questions:

Is the content added relevant to the topic?
Is the content added up-to-date?
Is there content that is missing or content that does not belong?
Does the article deal with one of Wikipedia's equity gaps? Does it address topics related to historically underrepresented populations or topics?

Tone and Balance

Guiding questions:

Is the content added neutral?
Are there any claims that appear heavily biased toward a particular position?
Are there viewpoints that are overrepresented, or underrepresented?
Does the content added attempt to persuade the reader in favor of one position or away from another?

Sources and References

Guiding questions:

Is all new content backed up by a reliable secondary source of information?
Does the content accurately reflect what the cited sources say? (You'll need to refer to the sources to check this.)
Are the sources thorough - i.e. Do they reflect the available literature on the topic?
Are the sources current?
Are the sources written by a diverse spectrum of authors? Do they include historically marginalized individuals where possible?
Are there better sources available, such as peer-reviewed articles in place of news coverage or random websites? (You may need to do some digging to answer this.)
Check a few links. Do they work?

Organization

Guiding questions:

Is the content added well-written - i.e. Is it concise, clear, and easy to read?
Does the content added have any grammatical or spelling errors?
Is the content added well-organized - i.e. broken down into sections that reflect the major points of the topic?

Images and Media

Guiding questions: If your peer added images or media

Does the article include images that enhance understanding of the topic?
Are images well-captioned?
Do all images adhere to Wikipedia's copyright regulations?
Are the images laid out in a visually appealing way?

For New Articles Only

If the draft you're reviewing is for a new article, consider the following in addition to the above.

Does the article meet Wikipedia's Notability requirements - i.e. Is the article supported by 2-3 reliable secondary sources independent of the subject?
How exhaustive is the list of sources? Does it accurately represent all available literature on the subject?
Does the article follow the patterns of other similar articles - i.e. contain any necessary infoboxes, section headings, and any other features contained within similar articles?
Does the article link to other articles so it is more discoverable?

Overall impressions

Guiding questions:

Has the content added improved the overall quality of the article - i.e. Is the article more complete?
What are the strengths of the content added?
How can the content added be improved?

Examples of good feedback

A good article evaluation can take a number of forms. The most essential things are to clearly identify the biggest shortcomings, and provide specific guidance on how the article can be improved.

Peer review of "Homemaking"
Peer review of this article about a famous painting

Additional Resources

Check out the Editing Wikipedia PDF for general editing tips and suggestions.

General info[edit]

Whose work are you reviewing?

Grahamal

https://dashboard.wikiedu.org/users/Grahamal

Link to draft you're reviewing: User:Grahamal/Animal model of autism#cite note-1
Link to the current version of the article (if it exists): Animal model of autism#:~:text=Rodents, most especially mice, are,seen symptomatically in humans5.

Evaluate the drafted changes[edit]

I think you have done a great job so far! The citations work and I was able to review the literature you cited. Your statements seem clear and accurate and they are both secondary literature. Everything that you have added does seem relevant to the article and is useful information. The first article you added (Silverman et al., 2022) brings in an important perspective and warning that was missing throughout the rest of the article, while maintaining a neutral tone. I noticed that the spot you plan to add it in breaks up an existing paragraph. I agree that there is more that could be added to that paragraph, and that the information you added there is important. However, I think that it may be beneficial to consider adding the information from Silverman et al. (2022) as its own paragraph. It may make more sense to expand the existing paragraph with a few updated citations explaining how animal models help to identify the the mechanism for ASD development in humans, seeing as the current citation is from a study published in 2006. The new paragraph could be placed at the end of the Rodent Model section of the article as the last paragraph of the section.

Conversely, you could keep it where it is and begin a new paragraph starting at "Other researchers have developed..." and expand on that with a few updated citations.

In the paragraph discussing the release of inflammatory cytokines, I would consider restructuring the sentence you added just a bit. I think it could be a bit stronger if you end the sentence after the word "proteins" and start a new sentence with the word "Changes". You could also consider taking out the words "becoming more" from the sentence and just write "Changes in the expression of cytokines during early stages of life have been linked to the likelihood of experiencing neurodevelopmental disorders such as autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and significant developmental delay." or "Recent studies have shown that changes in the expression of cytokines during early stages of life are linked to the likelihood of experiencing neurodevelopmental disorders such as autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and significant developmental delay."

I think that little tweak makes it a bit easier to follow. Overall, it seems like you have a great start! I hope this is helpful!