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Lady Celeste Luminary

Born (1948) Lynette Celeste Luminary, to parents Noel and Gloria Luminary in Euchareena, New South Wales, Australia. She has been known to make reference to her birthday being a leap year, February 29 “which is the reason I have maintained my youth and prosperity. This makes me no older than 16 Gentlemen, so if anyone would like to buy me a drink, well you can’t; but I’ll leave my tonic just over here if you’d like to spike it with some Gin”.

The Youngest of Seven children (Shirley, Jim, Beverly, Barry, Joan and Judith) Lady Celeste is the most successful financially and internationally, and was known to send some amounts of money back to her family farm “to maintain the upkeep of the backyard chickens.” Her father a sheep and wheat farmer, her mother a retired seamstress and full time mother lived simple country lives, raising seven children under the Catholic Faith.

Lynette Celeste was educated at Euchareena Public School until the age of eleven. She then graduated and commenced a higher school education at Pymble Ladies’ College in Orange. After showing a keen interested and natural talent, she left the school at the age of fourteen against her parents will and moved to Sydney. She moved directly into the heart of King’s Cross in Sydney’s East. This was a hub for cabaret, music halls, theatres and nightclubs; the venues that started the beginning of her performing career.

She began to sing in a basement bar called The Alibi where strict personal scrutiny took place, to create a haven for likeminded bohemians and gays. Celeste originally performed musical numbers late at night to avoid the “police peak hour” and to keep people’s spirits up into the early hours of the morning. Between songs, she would tell made up stories of Hollywood’s Golden Age in a satirical way, and create comment on the social and political environment of the time. Audience involvement became paramount to her success. Punters began to flock to The Alibi to see Celeste, and be entertained by her wicked sense of humour. She was signed for two and a half years, performing five nights a week under her new stage name – Lady Celeste!

As her contract drew to an end and despite an extension on offer, Lady Celeste followed her dream and moved to New York City. It would be nine years before she would return to Australia for her father’s funeral.

Lady Celeste moved into Greenwich Village, after having befriended two American Sailors spending some time docked in Sydney. Miles and Eugene had been a couple for twelve years and performed a double drag act when they were back in New York City. Lady Celeste moved into their flat in the spring of 1965.

Her NYC debut performance was May 21st at The Village Gate as a free event. From then she became the regular Wednesday and Friday night show, complete with a jazz band and the club’s Macaw "Milo".

During the same period Celeste befriended a young Cindy Sherman, and began to assist styling on her shoots to critical acclaim in the West Village, Lower East Side.

A regular attendee of her weekly shows was Joe Cino, owner and operator of Café Cino which had started to stage plays and artistic readings. He found a confidence in Lady Celeste that he gravitated towards, and she quickly became his muse and lover.

Joe and Lady Celeste continued to date for fourteen months and during that time she continued to perform at The Village Gate and become a well-known artist at Café Cino in various productions. Soon after commencing her residency at The Village Gate, She performed a regular slot of comedy at Village Vanguard and was a regular punter at The White Horse Tavern after hours. In 1969 Lady Celeste was rushed to hospital after collapsing at The White Horse from a heavy weekend of drinking and partying, celebrating the success of her show Celestial Being far From Heaven. She was dispatched from hospital two days later.

In 1970, A Celestial Being far From Heaven transferred to The Gate Theatre Off-Broadway to critical acclaim, before the theatre closed down. “If it wasn’t for previous debts that extend far beyond our reaches, Lady Celeste and Her one man show could have floated this theatre and all theatres in Manhattan for that matter. We are grateful for her sending us off with a bang!” The Curtain came down after fifty two shows, after which it commenced a Northern American Tour for three years.

Playing in Chicago, Detroit, San Francisco and Las Vegas Lady Celeste was rapidly becoming a celebrity across the nation in Cabaret and Comedy, and developed a significant gay following. Along the way she met and married her first and only Husband Oliver Wilds.

Oliver Wilds quickly became Lady Celeste’s closest friend and confident whilst she was starting her five month run in numerous venues across San Francisco. Oliver was a local textiles design student at The San Francisco Art Institute. In the college summer holidays, Oliver joined Lady Celeste on the final leg of her tour to Las Vegas where they married on the 20th of July, after an eight month relationship. He moved back to New York City with her in January the following year.

Oliver became Lady Celeste’s costume designer and wardrobe manager, and remains so to this day. Together they created dresses and outfit that featured in editorials for US Vogue, Interview Magazine and numerous other independent publications. Oliver became close friends with Japanese musician Isao Tomita, and designed one of his most famous sequence jump suits.

Lady Celeste and Oliver divorced after two years, when he selflessly proclaimed “Celeste you are pure aesthetic to me, and I don’t know if practically we’ll ever truly slot together. I wish for you to be on a mantle for me to admire, whilst I enjoy physical satisfaction elsewhere.” Oliver and his husband now reside in Clerkenwell, London and he continues to style shoots for Lady Celeste.

In 1975 Lady Celeste took several months off from the stage, to write her new show Utmost Luminary – a collection of autobiographical stories and Australian anecdotes complete with original jazz songs. At this time she was signed by Freddie Day, musical Agent. Utmost Luminary opened Off-Broadway in 1976, to pre-booking record sales. It ran for a brief 35 shows. Having been well received by critics and audience alike, Freddie Day was looking to the further the show when he was approached by Nicholas Wright of London’s Royal Court Theatre.

In the following months Utmost Luminary received commission from The Royal Court and turned into a three month run at The Duchess Theatre in the West End.

During this time Lady Celeste was invited to perform on Michael Parkinson, a time which He recalls fondly. “Never have I felt in the presence of a true God as I did with Lady Celeste. She charmed the socks off me, and if I wasn’t an altogether sort, she would have had me for life!” Celeste performed three half songs from her show Utmost Luminary. This commenced her time as a house hold name in Britain. Even if not everyone had a “telly” they knew who she was!

Utmost Luminary closed with rave review and theatre-goers queuing around the block of the small theatre to marvel at the International Icon inside. One Reviewer from The Sun however, reported “don’t believe the hype. If you want to be entertained by a swaggering woman, dulled up to the nines, belting out jazz ballads and confessing her life sins before you; come to my local in Aldgate East and buy one of the lasses a pint. It’ll be much cheaper and more entertaining!” No one has heard from the reporter since.

In 1977 Lady Celeste had immediately turned her back on the stage, to return home to Australia to grieve the sudden loss of her father. Noel Luminary was found unconscious but still alive on the family property after a minor stampede of live-stock took him in their stride. He was rushed to hospital suffering internal bleeding and head injuries, but died hours later. Lady Celeste was able to arrive two days later.

It was a small family service to cremate Noel, and set his ashes free across his land. A place he so dearly sculptured, they eventually took him in return.

Lady Celeste stayed for four months in Orange, helping her mother, and preparing Noel’s possessions to be donated to The Salvation Army. In September she moved south to Melbourne, where she began plans to re stage her UK success Utmost Luminary. Opening at The Athenaeum Theatre in 1978 was Lady Celeste’s revised version The Utmost Luminary Returns. Unfamiliar to many in Melbourne, the show opened to a collection of mixed reviews, but warm responses from the audience. Lady Celeste was billed as an Internationalist, Comedienne and Femme Fatal that would sings the songs off Joan Sutherland. Employing a strong marketing and public relations team became paramount to the success of the show. It never made as much money as it had in the UK, but none the less it was “creating quite a political stir below the equator, and our belts” writes the Melbourne Age.

Lady Celeste was greeted with radio interviews, television slots, and guest appearances during the run of her show, most notably her turn guest hosting Wheel of Fortune. This was a highly publicised, highly criticised event of her “letter turning”. It became a tabloid sensation because she had had a few drinks, and turned some letters that were not yet lit. In the third week of June, she was hit with another devastating loss, and shows were cancelled indefinitely.

On June 23rd 1978, Lady Celeste was informed that she has lost her estranged Mother in a house fire which destroyed her child-hood home. This time, Lady Celeste had declared a hiatus from performing that would keep her from the stage for over twenty years. At the peak of her fame across the world.

In March 1980, Lady Celeste returned to London to be close to friends and the social scene she had grown accustomed too, but still with no interest to perform. She took on a minor role as spokesperson for The City of London Migraine Clinic Charity, a specialist treatment centre for migraine and other primary headaches that was also founded that year. Lady Celeste was later dropped after she was overheard saying that “all you really need to cure a headache is what had started it in the first place; a stiff Gin and Dubonnet” – a drink also favoured by HRH Queen Elizabeth II.

In 2009 on a small trip to Sydney, Lady Celeste met her most current business partner and producer, Julian Lovick; a young actor who was working and writing for the stage as well as bartending on the side at Luke Mangan’s Glass Brasserie in the Hilton Hotel. Moving further into the production side of theatre, Julian formed a binding partnership with Lady Celeste that has restarted her career. On Saturday May 14th 2011, the pair staged her London return Lady Celeste: A Star is (Re)Born! at Time for Tea. It was received victoriously despite Lady Celeste’s notable intoxication. One critic writes “if Lady Celeste had drunk anymore, I’m afraid she may have faded into a puddle on the floor not dissimilar to the Wicked Witch in The Wizard of Oz”.

After the show, Lady Celeste was approached by a young gentleman (who must remain nameless) that happened to be friends with Prince William and Katherine Middleton, who presented her with an extraordinary proposition. That She was to attend his private party, attended by The Royal Family. Lady Celeste obliged, and in June 2011, Lady Celeste became The Official Psychic to British Royal Family, A-List artists and entrepreneurs. She wore a floor sweeping Issey Miyake Pleats Please black gown, reading tarot for Jay Jopling and Princess Eugenie, declaring herself the year's Champagne Socialist!

Successfully reinstating her person in East London – the create and fashion hub of the world, Lady Celeste was approached to be the guest of honour and fashion show judge for the opening of Joy the Store on Brick Lane, November 16th. The store recorded its highest takings on that day, and Lady Celeste was honoured on their “wall of fame”.

Now known as “The London Luminary” Lady Celeste began working on her Christmas show Lady Celeste’s Celestial Greetings! Due to popular demand the show doubled in size and was performed on December 16th and 17th. This time Lady Celeste collaborated with long-time confidant, and once off lover Fiona Finsbury on piano. They performed hit’s including It’s all Coming Back to Me Now, The Fear, Can’t Get You outta My Head and Only Girl In The World. The show raised funds for Lady Celeste’s housekeepers, who were previously starving in Africa.

February 2012, saw Lady Celeste booked for The Edinburgh Fringe Festival this coming August. She will be performing her hyped-sexualised, suggestive cabaret show Lady Celeste: Exploring Down Under! for Peter Buckley Hill’s Free Fringe. The two had met in their late twenties’ in London. Peter showered Lady Celeste with gifts and dinner’s out, all the while booking her to perform regular slots in Soho and the West End. It was agreed that due to all his persistent help, she would perform for him one day in exchange for absolutely nothing. That agreement has not been in vein.

On Friday 11th May, Lady Celeste made her Soho return to the stage at The Green Carnation for The [[UK (and Ireland’s) Funniest Women Awards]]. She was extremely well received, and awaits the results. One success from the night was the immediate attention she garnered from the Lesbian contingent performing. A sub category she whole-heartedly supports.